Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Happy Mid-Day

Had a lovely time with Chaun and Trace this morning (well, it would've been morning except that I got there a bit late and stayed for a long time drinking all their coffee -- yes, I am a conscientious guest), yay! I got to look through some of Chaun's many pattern books, and Trace made me copies of what I'll need for the sweatshirt I'm going to make. <3333

Then, went to Craft Essentials to buy the needles I'll need for the sweatshirt, and ran into Joanna and little Elise (I hope I'm spelling that right!), so we felt up some mohair for a bit, and then I went to get food for my mom and me so we could have a cosy rainy-day lunch.

It *was* cosy, in the end, but there was a lot of "Mother, it's a taco. Think. You know very well what a taco is. You pick it up with your hands and eat it, remember? Remember? Just pick it up and -- Goddamn, don't dump it all over the table, just pick it UP!" ~sigh~ I feel bad for saying things like that, because I know it's her disease making her stupid and childlike -- it's not that she's just dumb or anything, but something in me can't accept that my mom, who used to know just how to do things and who I could turn to with my problems, now needs me to help her eat and dress and bathe, and her personality's so different that I don't even *want* to help her because she's such a complete resistant shrew about everything. So, that tends to keep me from being the sweet, patient caregiver I wish I were.

Hence, I knit a lot, and grumble under my breath and get horrible adult acne from all the repressed anger and stress. Woohoo!

But then, on the other hand, I have so many lovely friends who I wouldn't have met if I hadn't gone through the horror of the past year and a half, so I wouldn't take back any of the bad stuff even if I could, because maybe then I wouldn't have my friends, and that would so not be a worthwhile trade. :)

Can anyone tell I'm seriously hormonal? Damn you, uterus! (Also, I'm going to try to start up my regular my-life-and-my-angst blog at LiveJournal again tomorrow, so I don't go all wibbly here. This is a knitting blog, honest! I swear!)

Ohhhh I want my handpaintedyarn.com stuff to get here! But it only shipped on Friday, so I don't think it'll be here today. Curses, foiled again.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay so the taco thing gave me a very good laugh, at your expense of course!
Also "sweet, patient caregiver I wish I were." Just so you know, there is no such thing. And if there are people that act like that all the time there is something wrong with them. Of course I am only talking about family caregivers & not hired ones. ;o)
Thanks for coming over & drinking all my coffee. There is always plenty for you!!

October 26, 2004 at 4:17 PM  

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