Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Everything falls apart. (This Post = A Rant.)

This post has fuck-all to do with knitting. Just a warning.

Today I spent a few hours with Chaun and Trace, and it was lovely even though I realized when I got home that I hadn't eaten anything but an apple all day, and I was all shaky and disoriented. But whatever, I had a nice time anyway, and I got to meet Chaun's wondermous little daughter, and later Trace and I went on a mission to City College, but the place we needed to go was closed. Still, at least Trace knows where it is, now, and what the hours are so she won't miss it tomorrow.

Then, just now I checked my email and my friend Ed told me that our mutual friend Dave -- who I was just telling a dumb story about to Chaun and Trace, and making fun of some of his more outrageous recent behavior -- tried to kill himself on Sunday night. His idiot doctors increased his medication -- which I didn't even know he was on -- without monitoring him or, I assume, taking into account the fact that he drinks, and the meds made him suicidal. I guess someone found him all cut up and took him to the hospital, and then his on-and-off girlfriend took the train up to get him and take him to her parents' house.

And the doctors did nothing. Took care of his physical wounds, told him to go to counseling every week, and discharged him after two fucking hours. Oh, and they increased his meds AGAIN.

The weird thing is, Dave and I don't really talk much, but he's no less my friend now than he was when we spent the majority of every day together. And somehow I have absolutely no doubt that he thinks of me the same way. I wrote him an email to tell him I care, even though I know he knows that, and all of a sudden I was crying uncontrollably, which is something I don't do lately.

I mean, I think if Dave isn't left alone for a few weeks, and if he gets good counseling and the right meds, he'll be ok. And I've stopped crying now, even if I do feel helpless because I'm 5,000 miles away from my friend, and I can't do a thing to help.

But seriously, if things keep falling apart, I am going to get very pissed off indeed with whatever Powers That Be.

That's all. Going to go knit and watch movies and drink the biggest glass of wine in history and then sleep.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey. I hope your ok and stuff. But fucking hell. I just read this entry. Man, I was gutted, I kept seeing Dave on my way to work and always stopped to say hi. Jesus, that's horrible, is he okay. I feel so helpless now and want to do something but don't know what. Shit. I don't have any sort of address for him, but pass on my best wishes if you can.

I hope you are okay with it too. We miss you on LJ.

I'm coming to your country next week. Man there is so much to tell...


November 20, 2004 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger reb said...

*hugs* honey.
i seem to have not much to say besides that, lately. it's hard to find appropriate responses in a commenting-to-posts format. sigh.
i miss you.

November 20, 2004 at 5:11 PM  

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